Craziness

I've finally found some time to sit down and right a blog, and it seems that a lot of things I wanted to write about have fallen out of my head. Maybe if I start writing I'll remember things. Maybe.

My Precious

I've lost my wedding ring. Remember when I lost the diamond and then found it? I was going to get insurance on my ring after that incident, but I had to get my ring appraised and I just never did. I only put my ring three places and it is in none of those places. It bums me out. I told my niece I would pay her $5 if she found it, but she only looked for like 10 minutes and then gave up.

Hungry little monsters

My sister and brother-in-law have been out of town the past week, and their three children have spent the week with us. It hasn't been bad at all. The craziest thing about the week is the amount of food we are going through. My boys started eating more a couple of weeks ago because it's spring and they have been a lot more active, but add three more kids to the mix and 'holy crap.'

Ben and Jack love having their cousins here. Jack has fallen asleep almost every night in Brooklynn's arms. He loooooooooooves her. Jack wakes up every morning before the kids leave for school and then we they leave he says to me with the saddest little voice, "why do they have to leave again?"

Bladder of Steel

Jack has had a dry diaper at night for a couple of months now. I am pretty laid back when it comes to potty training. Ben wasn't ready until he was 3 and I wasn't going to push Jack to be potty trained before then. However, since he was having dry diapers I thought I should try. So, we've tried. Even though I am certain his bladder is full, he cannot pee. He tries, but it just doesn't happen, even if he sits there for fifteen minutes. Sometimes he doesn't even pee in his diaper until he has been awake over an hour. I wish my bladder was that strong. I don't think it ever was and then I had kids. Now it's a joke.

Mother's Day

I know it was a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to write about it. I don't like Mother's Day, okay I hate it. I think it's a silly holiday, and I stupidly have expectations of the day. It's a hard day for me because it's just a reminder that there is never a break when you're a mom. I often get overwhelmed because we want to go to Chad's mom and my mom's and we usually spend most of the day taking care of things for meals at both places and driving all over the place. This year my mother-in-law was out of town and my mom was in the hospital, so you think it would have been more laid back, but I still had to cook and clean and deal with crazy kids. Wow, I'm ornery.

So, next year I am either going out of town for Mother's Day or I am going to forget about myself and just honor my mom and Chad's mom. And since I was so ornery about Mother's Day, I am trying to me more mindful of the day to day things my kids do to show me they love me. And they do a lot.

My mom

She came home from the hospital a week ago. She was in the hospital for a little over two weeks. My older sister Jennifer, my aunt Gail, my brother, and my dad took turns being at the hospital with her. My aunt's Kim and Roxann helped out too and a family friend, Janene came to the rescue one day when we needed her help. It was a crazy and intense two weeks. Although my mom was tired of being in the hospital coming home has been very difficult.

I can't even imagine going through what's she is going through. She can't read because of her eye problem and problems with her brain. She can walk, but she gets tired just walking around the block. (She use to walk three miles every single day, up and down the hills.) She wasn't really a television watcher before, but because of her eyes she doesn't really like watching it at all now. She doesn't like riding in the car. She just can't do a lot of the things she loves to do.

If I was her I would just want to sleep all the time, but unfortunately she isn't sleeping well. She is in a very dark place emotionally. Understandably.

Wicked fun

My sister, Jennifer, went to San Francisco to see Wicked for her birthday. Her husband went with her, so I am watching my nieces and nephew for the three days and nights while they are out of town. And it's mostly just me taking care of them because Chad is at work and then he is working on the house. We go down and help, but it doesn't last long before it's best of we just come back to my sister's house.
It's not too bad watching the kids. Okay, it's a little bit hard, but nothing that isn't manageable. Ben mostly loves it because he would love to spend all day, every day with his cousins anyway. Jack mostly enjoys it too. My niece, Brooklynn, loves playing with and taking care of Jack and he loves the attention from her. However, he is terrified of Madilynn and he screams if she even gets close to him. She's a bit too intense for him.
When my parents went out of town once or twice when I was younger I remember thinking it was exciting to have somebody else taking care of us. I spend so much time with my nieces and nephew, that I don't think me being here is at all exciting to them. I also lost a lot of my magic as an aunt when I became a parent myself. I remember people telling me it would happen, but it bummed me out when it did. I can't feed my nieces and nephews sugar cereal for every meal, give them candy all day long, and let them stay up as long as they want. Because I'd have to let my kids do that too and I'm pretty certain what would happen if I did. Before I had kids I didn't let my niece and nephew do whatever they wanted and eat whatever they wanted, but I did give them plenty of candy and I didn't really care much about a bed time.
Brooklynn is super independent. She is very helpful. Yesterday morning she got out bowls and cereal for all the kids, including Jack and also warmed up a bottle for him. After breakfast she cleared everything up. She also made Madilynn get ready for preschool despite the fact that Madilynn was screaming most of the time. Brooklynn wouldn't let Madilynn wear what she wanted because it was not appropriate for the cold weather. Brooklynn also brushed Madilynn's hair. Brooklynn's indepence is useful, but it's also a little challenging to deal with as she always wants to be in charge and alway wants things to go her way.
I told Brooklynn that we would probably go to the children's museum this afternoon, but I'm thinking it's not gonna work out. I'm just too afraid to go to a place like that with five kids- I'll probably lose one of them. I lost Ben there one time and he was my only child at the time.
Maybe tonight I'll feed them a bunch of candy, watch a bunch of movies, and let them stay up as late as they want so I can be a little bit of a fun aunt. Maybe. I'm already tired.