With Ben in Kindergarten I have been afforded the luxury of going shopping with just one child. Ben was becoming very difficult to take shopping because he wants everything and we were having a lot of meltdowns in the store. I avoid at almost all costs to not take Ben to the store. It's just better for my sanity.
Today though I made a mistake of taking him to the store. Ben needs some snow pants. I bought him some two weeks ago, but he didn't like them, because they were just pants. Not snow pants with the bib. As an adult I just want snow pants, but I understand why he wants the bib. Also, the pants are way to big around his waist and there isn't a way to tighten them. So last Friday I picked up some snow pants for him that have the bib. I brought them home and he hates them. I understand why though. The pants are pretty much one size fits all when it comes to width so they would fit the largest six year old there is. Okay maybe than the biggest, but honestly the pants are almost big enough for two six year olds. They are baggy and awkward.
Ben also hated both of the pants I bought him because they were too long. I am not going to give into that complaint. I am not buying a pair of snow pants that will only fit him for one year.
So, today I decided to take Ben to another store to try on some snow pants. The whole way there I explained to him why we would be buying pants that are a little long and need to be rolled up. I explained this over and over again.
So we get inside and he tries on the snow pants. I carefully adjust them so they fit the way they are suppose to. He hates them because they are too long and when I remind him what I said about them needing to last longer than this year he starts crying. I put on his boots, roll up the snow pants and show him how the length isn't really a problem. He somewhat understands but is still crying.
I am already frustrated, but I try to be patient, so I asked him what else was wrong. The pants are way to baggy around his waist area. The pants have some straps that can adjust the tightness but they don't get tight enough. Easy enough fix, I can just sew on some more velcro. I show Ben how they will feel if I do that.
But it still doesn't help. He doesn't like the pocket on the leg. (He has issues with any pants that have pockets on the legs.) And he is upset that the other pockets have zippers on them.
I think he is just upset that they don't feel just right. And I am frustrated because I just don't want to give into silly little things. I want to be sensitive to his needs but I don't want to create a snotty little brat.
We don't buy the snow pants. Ben decides to walk around the clothing area for a while and look at clothes. Immediately he sees some pajamas with Mario on them and he wants them. I explain that he has some pajamas kind of like that and he won't wear them. He says to me, "maybe if they had superheros on them I would wear them." I tell him no about the pajamas and remind him he already has some clothes that have super heros on them. He of course tells me he only has two shirts. Two shirts is better than none. (In my mind I am thinking, I want to throw those two shirts away and the other two dozen t-shirts he owns and then make Ben wear polo shirts all the time. If I had my way, that's the way it would be.)
Ben has a meltdown and throws a tantrum in the store about the pajamas. I remember I need to buy some rubber bands so I head over to that isle. I decide to buy a ball of rubber bands. Ben had a friend who had one of those, so of course Ben wants one. So that means I would need to buy a ball of rubber bands for me, for Ben, and Jack. I am not going to do that. Ben once again has a meltdown and tells me how mean I am. (And in my mind I am thinking, yes your friend has a ball of rubber bands but I know that his family doesn't do much traveling or family vacations. They do not do camping. And the dad has told the kids he will never, ever take him to Disneyland. Hmm Ben, do you want a rubber band ball, or do you want to do fun things as a family? I of course mention this to him later.)
On the way home we have a discussion about needs vs wants. I remember being a kid and asking my parents to buy me stuff all the time and I thought they were the meanest people in the world because they wouldn't. I wish I could make Ben understand the difference between a need and a want and why we have to keep our wants in check so that we have enough money for our needs. I wish it was a quick lesson to learn. Ha! Ha! Ha! That lesson takes a lifetime.
