Adjusting

Jack has been complaining a lot lately that he has no friends. When we have friends over to play he complains that they only played with Ben. When we were in Texas I asked Jack who he wanted to have a playdate with when we got home. He answered, "I want a playdate with Ben." After spending a week and a half with my sister's kids I guess he didn't feel like he got enough alone time with Ben.

This morning I was telling Jack that we were going to the Park and meeting some of his friends, Addie and Daniel. He told me that they aren't his friends, they are Ben's friends. I asked Jack, "Who are your friends." And he answered, "You!"

Awwhhhhhh, sweet.

Ben had his first day of first grade yesterday. It's a big change in his life, and it's amazing the ripple effect it has on the family. Jack feels lost without Ben. His playmate is now gone most of the day. I feel lost without Ben because Jack wishes that I would play with him all day and I just don't want to. Let alone I have work to do. I try to involve him in helping me, but he doesn't last long. I need to play with Jack more and plan more playdates for him.

I remember not long after Ben was born I thought to myself, "I can't want until he goes to school." I felt that way because I was overwhelmed with what a change becoming a mother was. It was so hard to go from working away from home to being home all. the. time. Now I can't believe that Ben is in school most of the day. Well, a big chunk of the day. And it's going to take a while to adjust to him not being with me most of the time.

Changes

In eight short days my sweet Ben will be starting 1st grade. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. When he started Kindergarten it wasn't nearly this hard for me. The time went buy fast when he was at school, but he was only there for two and a half hours. Now he will be gone six and a half hours. :(

Ben is an amazing little boy with a big heart. He is becoming more and more mature lately. A couple of weeks ago I was telling Ben that one of his friend's dad has cancer, and I was explaining to Ben what that meant and how hard it would be for her and her family. Ben listened intently to me and then said, "you know that thing you do where you don't eat for the whole day and you pray for people that need help? We should do that for him". Ben also thought of ideas of things he could do for his friend. What a sweetheart!

Having Ben in school will not only be a big change because he will be in school all day, but it will be a change because this is the first time I will have to consistently get up and get him going Monday thru Friday. It has seemed this summer that both Ben and I have been waking up earlier consistently, but we have definateky still had some lazy, sleep in late days.

Jack will also have a rough time with Ben in school all day. Last week Ben and Jack were away from each other for three days and they missed each other a lot. Ben was with Chad and Jack was with me. I often feel like Ben isn't being very patient with Jack, but being alone with Jack made me very aware that Ben is very patient with Jack. Jack is in a phase right now where he is defiant, incessant, and whiney more often than I have developed patience for. It will be good for Jack to have one on one time with me, but it will be an adjustment keeping Jack busy so he doesn't drive me crazy. I really need to plan playdates to allow Jack opportunities to develop friendships.

I am crossing my fingers that we will all adjust to the big change in our life. Often for me the anticipation is more intense than the actual experience. Hopefully we will quickly develop a routine and we won't have too many bad days.