(I covered up my face because I think it looks horrible. When I'm pregnant I put on some weight on my face and, to me, I look weird.) I'm now thirty-eight weeks pregnant. Beepers was born three days after his due date, so although I would like to have this baby early, it's not likely to happen.
Today I went shopping and bought an outfit for a little boy and a little girl. Sometimes it's strange that we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but I'm very excited to be surprised. I'm thinking it's a boy, but I may just think that because I can't imagine having a girl. Today when I was shopping I found it so much easier to pick out an outfit for a little boy than for a little girl. Maybe I was just overwhelmed by all the pink. Don't get me wrong, I like pink, there was just sooo much of it.
I'm excited to have another baby, and I sick of being pregnant, but I'm scared. I'm scared to go into labor again and I'm scared that it could be another horrible experience. But I'm hopeful that things will go a lot better this time. My nurse midwife thinks I can do it without an epidural, I'm really thinking that I want one. (Just to clarify things- Some people think that because I have a nurse midwife I am going to deliver my baby at home. No way! I will be delivering at the hospital here in town. I chose a nurse midwife for a couple of reasons. 1. I do not have high risk pregnancies 2. Statistically with a nurse midwife you are less likely to have to have a c-section or an episiotome. 3. Nurse midwifes spend a lot more time in the delivery room than a doctor does.)
I am also a little scared of the first couple of weeks with a new baby. Even though I've only slept through the night about three or so times in the past three years, I'm not quite ready for the middle of the night feedings and diaper changings. Oh well, the baby is coming soon whether I'm ready or not.
2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you are so miserable, hopefully the next few weeks will go quickly for you.
That's cool about a nurse midwife, and I say if you want an epidural, then go for it. The technology is there for a reason.
I'm also very curious if you have a boy or girl and think it's awesome you are waiting for it to be a surprise.
All the waiting and not knowing! So hard! I am proud of you for making it so well without having slept through the night virtually ever in the last three years. I keep hoping I won't have to wait as long as you, but I just need to be patient. When I was thinking about your baby last night, I automatically thought of it as a girl. It would be great to have one of each, but it would be great to have two little boys! I am excited to find out! Love you!
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